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Robert S. McGee, The Search for Significance
The joke on CLC’s 'sorted' course is that we all have two feelings: ‘okay’ and ‘a bit down’. The gap between what is going on inside us and our mental grasp of it is alarming. Some people assume that emotions must just be for other people, that their lives will turn out okay if they just stick to their guns, or that as long as they keep their cool in public it doesn’t matter too much what goes on when no-one is looking.
And yet these are the same people who are desperately lonely most of the time, or who struggle with anger, or can’t shake habitual sins, who feel ashamed and guilty and condemned, who struggle to form healthy friendships or can’t understand why the smallest comment from somebody else sends them into depression for several days.
The truth is that we all have currents inside that manifest externally. If we try to block them or keep them buried, they will show up destructively when we least want them to, in ways that we wish they wouldn’t. Or we manage our way tightly through life unfeelingly, darkly, and in denial.
Does this sound like freedom?
‘You desire truth in the inward parts.’
Robert S McGee brings his experience in pyschiatry, counselling and Bible teaching to bear in a foundational book that Billy Graham thinks ‘should be read by every Christian.’ He deals with what is really going on inside of us, the causes behind our destructive behaviour and feelings, and shows us how the answers lie with in the freedom Jesus bought for us on the cross – not in a flippant way – but directly, how the truth can begin to take root deep down.
It can be a painful read as things kept murkily down are exposed (if you think you’re perfect then you’re in for a shock), yet the dominant note of the book is hope: hope for change, for freedom, for life. Beliefs that we hold internally – whatever else we say we believe cognitively – are shown up as lies and are trumped by truth that we read in the Bible.
At first, the main weakness of the book appears to be the maximisation of exposing our internal struggles compared to much less attention on how to actually change. Several years after beginning this journey myself, I consider this to be more a problem of false advertising than an inherent flaw. My reasons are threefold.
Firstly, part of spiritual growth is becoming more self-aware. In fact, knowing ourselves and knowing God are completely intertwined. Having the lights switched on gives you the chance to have a good look around, and should not be rushed.
Secondly, the book should do itself out of a job. It should point to the answer, which, not being a three-point plan, but a relationship, lies outside of its scope. It is in relationship with God that we change and make sense of life. If we could read a manual and be fixed, we would have life in the sense that an air conditioning unit does. Life doesn’t work that way – we are created to be loved by God not reprogrammed by him.
Finally, although some editions of The Search come with useful and worthy workbook-style exercises, it is always going to be the case that we need other people more than we need books. This is an exhortation, not to ditch the book, but work through it in relationship to others. CLC’s sorted course is the perfect starting point, as the weekend is based largely on material from the book. One to one is another context to engage with these things.
There is no perfect, fix-it, one-stop guide to being whole, or perfect, or free. But if you are looking for a book that has a healthy, direct approach to engaging with these issues, containing an unthreatening combination of Biblical and clinical wisdom, then The Search for Significance is the best thing that is out there. And if you’re not looking, then Billy says you should be.
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